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has a soft spot for all things romantic, heartbreaking, and beautiful

Hi! I’m Leanne.

As written above, I have a soft spot for all things romantic, heartbreaking, and beautiful.

Writing (and other forms of communication) has always been my tool to process my thoughts and feelings about anything and everything in the world.

This website offers spontaneous doses of unsolicited advice and insights on women’s health, career, and relationships.

Enjoy!

advocacy: unang beses

**Trigger warning: Content related to assault** “I was invited to my boyfriend’s house. I got to be alone with him at his tita's room. His family usually leaves us alone and we were able to do whatever we wanted to do. I was really awkward at that time because I was the typical nerd girl who only read books and fantasized about having a boyfriend. So, my expectations were really high. My boyfriend kissed me and asked if we can [have sex]. He was the sweetest because he made sure to make me feel okay. He went down on me and made me cum first, before asking if it was okay for him to put his dick inside. Feeling so happy and satisfied, I agreed. I didn't expect it to hurt that much so I cried. He hugged me and made me feel okay. Unfortunately, he would then cheat on me for three consecutive years. I had to pick myself up a million times because I thought that no one was ever going to love me after he ‘took away’ my virginity.” WANT TO SHARE YOUR OWN STORY? Reflect on your own experiences about your first times having sex, and contribute to our advocacy! “I just felt everyone else was doing it already. All of my friends were already doing it. When guys would ask me if I was a virgin and I’d say yes, they were always surprised. I was open about sex and my sexuality but I was also scared to do it. Eventually, I felt I was ready. I didn’t have a boyfriend or anyone special, I just chose someone in my school. I had this huge crush on the captain of the football team and so I gave it a try. At first, we were just texting and talking in school and eventually he asked me on a date. “I wouldn't trade my first time for anything. It isn't anything grand (quite cliché, actually) but it's really special to me. How do you see porn? It has been a few hard weeks, months, and even a year to say the least. Here at UnangBeses, it’s been difficult for us to digest the news both in the US and the Philippines and mobilize from it. It feels like every day, there’s a new heartbreaking story - from Maria Ressa being found guilty of cyber libel or the deaths of transgender woman Rem’mie Fells and Black Lives Matter activist Toyin Salau. We wanted to step back, assess how to move forward (as individual activists and as a platform), and evaluate what this page means to ourselves and to our followers. It led us to think: How can we be activists? and more importantly, How can we further our activism? “I count two separate times as my ‘first’ and together they make up the first time. One was with someone I had met off Tinder when I was 20. They invited me over to their house and I knew before [coming over] that we were going to have sex. We started making out and taking our clothes off, (now that I reflect on it they tried to have sex rather quickly that I don't think my body was ready for penetration just yet), and they struggled penetrating me, claiming I was too ‘tight.’ So it finished off with oral sex on him and I went home. “I was happy. What I mean by that is, after the experience, I really felt like it was the right choice. And, after doing it, that’s when I knew, ‘Okay, I was ready for it.’ I think that I really prepared for it.

Firsthand accounts of Filipino/a/x people about their first times having sex. Share your story bit.ly/UnangBeses

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